Writer, Teacher, Planner, Dreamer

Category: Music

Why Are You So Afraid?

I love being around water.  I grew up in Southern Indiana which is separated from Louisville, Kentucky by the Ohio River.  My dad worked on the river when I was a kid, so the water is present in a most of my memories from childhood. The river is usually calm and still.  You can see the riverbank where the water ends on the other side that is lined with towering buildings that create the Louisville skyline.  The city lights on the other side gleam off of the water and give light to our side of the river. 

I just returned from a trip to the beach. I observed how different the ocean is from the river while I was there.  The water wavered somewhere between an emerald green and a sapphire blue. The water was so clear that swimmers could see fish and seaweed around their feet.  The ocean is so vast that you cannot see the other side.  The water appears to stretch on endlessly until it turns into the skyline on the horizon.  With no skyscrapers on the other side, the only glimmer of light is offered by the moon.  There seems to be a continuous rotation of waves crashing onto the sandy shore and then the foamy water sliding back out to sea.

I was captivated by the waves this year.  I was reminded of the story of Jesus calming the storm in Mark 4:35-41.  The NIV describes the storm as a  “furious squall”.  A squall is a storm that comes on suddenly and produces violent wind gusts that can cause powerful, destructive waves. The disciples on the boat were terrified of the storm. They woke Jesus up from his sleep. Jesus calms the storm, and then he asks the disciples “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”  

Those questions have  been swimming around in my heart and mind this week. I am fearful of many things. Some of them are legitimate fears, but usually they are thoughts that I have let grow out of control and consume my mind. The majority of those thoughts begin with “what if…” While those what ifs are possible they are not usually probable. However, I tend to run with the possible until it grows so big that I can no longer see what is probable and fear is the end result. This week as I listened to the waves, I heard the whisper…”Why are you so afraid?” Is my faith so small that I don’t think God has control of every single detail of my life?

There is a song we have been singing at church recently called “Peace Be Still”. The chorus goes:

“Peace be still
Say the word and I will
Set my feet upon the sea 
Till I’m dancing in the deep
Oh peace be still
You are here so it is well
Even when my eyes can’t see 
I will trust the voice that speaks”

© 2017, Hope Darst/Mia Fieldes/Andrew Holt

I love the visual of “set my feet upon the sea till I’m dancing in the deep.” I picture freedom and abandon. Fear never leads to freedom. It is a prison that holds us back. It keeps us from trying new things. We can never live uninhibited when fear is controlling us. Fear keeps us in what we perceive to be safe. We will never venture out into the deep when fear is controlling us.

I have decided to work on changing my what ifs. Instead of asking “What if _____ and filling in the blank with any number of bad things that could happen, I am going to ask “What if I trust God?” I want to live my life dancing in the deep with Jesus instead of hanging out in the boat with fear.

Healing Music – Honeycomb Tombs

“Music speaks what cannot be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it a rest, heals the heart and makes it whole, flows from heaven to the soul.” -Author Unknown

I love this quote because it rings so true for me personally. As a writer, I am a lover of words. It is how I communicate best. However, music seems to speak to my heart in a way that words often cannot. It is like a healing salve that can cover and numb the sting and pain. So, occasionally I will share  songs that have helped me on my journey through grief. I am going to share one of them with you today.

A very sweet and dear friend shared this with about a year ago. The artist is Karla Adolphe and the album is Honeycomb Tombs. Something else really cool is that you can download it for FREE from her website. The album is “inspired by and devoted to the process of grief”. The entire album is great, but one song that has really spoken to me lately is called “Invisible Lines”. It poetically expresses what I so often feel. The lyrics are as follows:

Our misery started today but our roads did not go the same way
Yours to the left mine to the right
Our misery started today

Our hearts broke at the same time torn along invisible lines
Mine was still beating yours said goodnight
Our hearts broke at the same time

You are like the shoreline
Constant but fading at the same time
You are like the sky above
You cover me, cover me

Our wells are empty and dry poured out and measured for life
Yours from the inside mine from my eyes
Our wells are empty and dry
Printed by permission.  All Rights Reserved 2012 Smallgate Music

I won’t elaborate on the lyrics or how they have ministered to my heart. Our wounds may be different and need doctoring in different ways. So, I simply share them and will allow them to speak to you in a way that you may need.

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