Writer, Teacher, Planner, Dreamer

Month: March 2014

Comicon, Cosplay and Church


harley quinn

I went to Comicon in Lexington with a couple of friends a few days ago. Regardless of whether you are a fan or not, I insist that given the chance everyone should go at least once! It was definitely an adventure. The convention had a variety of booths where individuals could purchase fan merchandise and art. There were also plenty opportunities to meet special guests and for the right price get an autograph or a photograph with them. Lastly, there were costumes. When I say costumes, I’m not talking about something that was thrown together at the last minute for a party at a friend’s house. Some of these costumes were elaborate pieces of work that clearly took hours and even hundreds of dollars to make.

My first trip to Comicon was my first introduction to fandom. Fan fiction, cosplay and fan art are some of the most common activities where individuals express their fandom. For most people, this is just a hobby. A way for them to express their devotion and appreciation for their favorite characters. However, for others, it becomes a way of escape. A way to take on a persona with characteristics and abilities that they find more desirable than their own.

I couldn’t understand why people would spend so much time, energy and money on something that they are not. But then, I realized I do the same thing except I don’t wear a mask. Well, at least not a physical one. For me, church was my place of escape. I would put on my perfectly pressed suit of strength and paint on my happy smile with red lipstick and look like I had it all together. I knew the right words to say and the things to do. My “costume” worked for a long time. People would comment on how strong I was and what a good girl I was. But, they didn’t know the girl that was falling apart underneath. The girl with the broken heart and fading dreams. The girl that had made some pretty bad choices that have made her feel down right rotten. You see, just like in cosplay, you may be able to fool everyone else around you, but you can’t fool yourself. You know you are an impostor. And we may be able to hide who we really are from others, but we can’t hide from God. He knows everything about us. We are uncovered, naked before him. Yet, he loves us. Period. Just as we should love ourselves and love each other. Church, when can we learn to take off our costumes, quit pretending like we have it all together and learn to love ourselves and others in the middle of our messes just like Jesus does?

photo credit: V Threepio via photopin – cc


I absolutely love the changing of the seasons. Fall is my favorite time of year. However, the change from winter to spring definitely makes my heart happy. After so many weeks of everything being frozen under a hard layer of ice, the trees bare and the grass brown and dead, the first signs of Spring bring me joy. Spring seems to come in slowly. One morning you awake to hear a few notes of birds singing, next you notice a few sprigs of lavender flowers beginning to work their way through the brown patches of grass. Then one day you awake to the sun shining and a world is once again full of color and sound.

In my experience, grief kinda works the same way. Days turn to weeks which then turn to months of walking through what seems like a bleak haze. Then, out of nowhere, the smallest thing appears and reminds you that you are still alive. A song comes on the radio that makes you smile. A friend tells a story and you find your belly laugh again. A child holds your hand and you  feel something other than just the pain and numbness you have felt for so long. It may not seem like it now, but a day will come that is filled with more real smiles than forced ones. You will come alive again – just hunker down and ride out the winter.

“The most beautiful springs are those that come after the most horrible winters!” -Mehmet Murat ildan

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