Today I want to break away from my normal topics of choice to write about something a little lighter but very important. This post is a public service announcement for all my ladies out there. It has to do with lingerie. You know, those pretty, sexy little things made out of lace and satin. They look so cute on the hanger. They always seem like a good idea at the time. You buy them with the thought that your husband will find you irresistible and to give your confidence a bit of a boost. For that reason, you are willing to pay a ridiculous amount of money on something that will only stay on for mere minutes (because let’s be honest, that thing isn’t going back on tonight – you are going to put on your cozy pajama pants as soon as possible).
However, you may quickly find your confidence diminishing. The majority of these things use those tiny hooks and loops to hold it together. And, of course, they are always in the back which makes it next to impossible to put on by yourself unless you are a contortionist. Also, the designers try to be kind by putting more than one set of these hooks on the item so that you can wear it if you gain or lose a little bit of weight. How kind of them, but seriously, it just makes things more confusing. When you have three rows of about twenty hooks and no eyes on the back of your head, it is easy to hook it on a loop on the wrong row or even worse, to miss a row. When the latter happens and you don’t catch it immediately, you have to then unhook all of them up to that point and redo it. If you get really daring and get something that has more than one piece, you may find yourself having to secretly text a trusted friend or Googling a how-to video.
So, ladies, I am here to offer an extremely important warning: always do a test run prior to the night you plan to wear it! Otherwise, you may end up in the bathroom for 45 minutes trying to put the thing on while your husband is waiting in the other room. Trust me, it will save you some tears and cursing that night.